Holiday romances are meant to be a fun part of a trip abroad, right? But what if you end up on holiday with someone you really don’t want to get with?
This is what happens to Natalie in Zoe May’s latest novel, As Luck Would Have It. Embarking on a romantic getaway with the guy who broke her heart back at school is hardly ideal, but nothing has to happen.
Just because two people are single, sharing a beautiful suite in one of the dreamiest, most romantic places ever, doesn’t mean they’re going to get together, does it?
Of course not. Just follow these tips if you, like Natalie, want holiday romances off your travel itinerary.
Don’t accept a honeymoon upgrade
If you’re travelling with a male companion and the hotel happen to assume you’re together, DO NOT accept a honeymoon upgrade. The room may be totally gorgeous with little heart-shaped chocolates on the pillow, but so what? Stick to your regular room and go to the local shop to buy a chocolate bar. They sell it overseas you know.
Don’t share a bed
So you were seduced by the pillow chocolates and took the honeymoon upgrade despite the presence of nearby convenience stores? Right. Well don’t share a bed. If the room has a sofa, one of you must sleep on it. Sure, it might look a bit weird to housekeeping if there’s a duvet on the sofa, but a lot of marriages end up sexless, maybe yours just started early?
Apply your own sun cream
You know those hard to reach places? Don’t get your travel companion to help you out. Here’s a YouTube video on how to apply sun cream to your own back. You’re welcome.
Don’t watch sunsets
What is it about holidays that suddenly makes us want to pause and watch the sunset when we can see the sun from literally anywhere in the world?!
Do unromantic things
Romantic stroll through a gorgeous scenic garden? Wine-tasting in a quint vineyard? No. why not check out the local taxidermy exhibition instead? Or a war memorial. They’re arguably a lot more cultural.
Remind yourself of real life
They say we’re our best selves on holiday. The stresses and strains of everyday life drift away leaving us happy, carefree, and open to new experiences – like holiday romances. Well, remind yourself of real life, then. Log into your work emails. File your tax return from the sun lounger. Maybe it’s time to review your energy tariffs?
Don’t pretend to be married
So you and your travel companion aren’t actually together but you’ve been offered a honeymoon upgrade and the hotel is lavishing you with newlyweds perks – free champagne, a romantic dinner for two, even a congratulatory cake. Do not pretend to be married just to accept the freebies. Before you know it, fiction could become reality.
Stay away from the jacuzzi
Jacuzzis, with their rumbling jets and steamy vibes, are sexy. Avoid them. Or at least avoid them with other people. Become a jacuzzi ninja – sneak up with stealth when it’s empty and scarper if you see anyone coming.
Don’t open up
Feeling reflective now that you’re away from home with time on your hands? Stop! If you want to avoid a holiday romance, keep your lips sealed and avoid heart-to-hearts. Maybe now’s the time to start a diary? Or message a friend back home. WhatsApp works abroad, you know.
Don’t get a couple’s massage
So it’s cheaper to get a couple’s massage than for each of you to go separately? Now is not the time for economy. Go alone. Getting half-naked with your travel companion and being slathered in oil is, surprisingly, not conducive to avoiding a holiday romance.